Fighting with Siblings
“Mum! You are always defending Sis! She is not your baby anymore…” screams my second sis.
This is still often heard in my own family when the squabbles begin. Sometimes when I’m arguing with mum, I noticed myself saying that too. I know it is never easy playing parent yet it is never about giving in to the youngest all the time. Sometimes when we argue, we just want to be heard, to be treated more like an adult.
“Adult-ing” is never easy even as the eldest in the family. Having to play the role well and be the peacekeeper requires much self-discipline, patience and maturity, this is even more so when in my family, it is not the game where “the eldest gets the final say”.
I would like to use the phrase “adult-ing” here to convey the juggling games I had to learn on the job as a wife, a pet parent, a daughter, a sister – if you care enough and cherish harmony, it is not about who is right or who is to be blamed. For myself, when an argument sparks between sisters, I believe it is important to listen without trying to impose my own judgement. Don’t speak for the person; hear her speak before you comment. This has helped me to be mindful, to listen first, and comment later. We need to learn that things are never black or white. Everyone is doing their best in their own way and we should do our best to understand and embrace each other’s differences.
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